Keebler Elves' hollow tree raided
- Sylvan Glen police have arrested famed Keebler Elves Doc, Ma, Buckets, Ernest J and Fast Eddie, and seized the family's "magic oven" after a years-long undercover investigation. Police say they were tipped off several years ago of possible wrongdoings by the Pillsbury Dough Boy. A Sylvan Glen police lieutenant handling the investigation said detectives will run a thorough check on the family's magic oven to make sure cookies are the only thing being made. A police spokesman said his department will look into a number of possible violations, including fraud: "We've always been suspicious of the Keeblers. Doc's official online biography says he is 'a doctor and a baker.' How can you be both?" The spokesman also questioned the family's famed mantra: "Magically delicious? We'll be investigating that, too." Doc, Ma and Ernest J are reportedly cooperating, but Fast Eddie and Buckets have had to be housed in separate cells.
- And an Irish show jumper insisted Monday he's done nothing wrong even though the sport's governing body ruled he should be stripped of his Olympic gold medal following his horse's positive drug test. The International Equestrian Federation ruled Sunday that Cian O'Connor should lose his title because his horse, Waterford Crystal, tested positive for traces of two prohibited drugs. The governing body first became suspicious when at the end of a recent equestrian event, the horse picked up a baseball bat and smacked a 485-foot home run.