STICKY DOORKNOBS

Another sign that we are headed for nutritional doom

Forget global warming. Our biggest problem today is global substandard telephone fast food order taking. I've heard it said that the reason for the crumbling quality of the food service industry is that we can't find enough employees for the jobs, and maybe the oilfield is hiring away some of the more intelligent candidates needed to take and deliver orders.

I need no more convincing.

Yesterday evening, I called a local fast food restaurant and said to the employee who answered, "I'd like to order a Family Meal, please."

To which came this response from the employee on the phone.

"Is this, like, a call-in order or somethin'?"

I told my teenage daughter about the conversation and she told me what she would've said had she been the one placing the order.

"Uhhh. No. I'm in the restaurant and I just didn't feel like getting up out of my chair."

Clearance Sale! EVERYTHING MUST GO!

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the folks at the Clinton Library in Little Rock aren't moving much "I Miss Bill" product these days. These bumper stickers, however, ARE available with any $30 purchase at the library gift shop. T-shirts with the same message are no longer even available on the Clinton Presidential Center Web site, just four months after they were on prominent display at the front of the store (Don't ask, just trust me on that one).

Apocalypse now?

I keep hearing this is gonna happen. I just didn't know it was gonna be this weekend.

How the U.S. Post Office can most effectively spend that extra penny they're getting from us later this month

That's 13 people on one side of the counter, and at this particular point (3:20 p.m., Tuesday), one person on the other side of the counter.

Grace spontaneous

It was one of those singularly unique moments, the kind you can't create or design or plan and the kind that you can never hope for again. It happened after the pope's Mass in Yankee Stadium Sunday in New York.

Karen, The Boy and I had finally made it through an immovable crowd that at times seemed as if it would keep us stagnant outside the gates of the great ballpark in the Bronx forever. But finally, the crowd thinned and we made our way to the 161st St. station. Plenty of people still lingered, many filled souvenir shops, others merely meandered about talking with one another, strangers and friends alike.

We walked down the stairs to the subway platform and noticed a group of six or eight young men clad in the black frocks of young seminarians. They were all smiles, all fresh-faced and jovial and helpful and when the train door came open they of course deferred to everyone else before they themselves boarded.

The doors whisked shut and one of them pulled up next to me and sat down. His name was Andrew and he and his brother, who he pointed to, were both in the seminary together which he said delighted mom and dad to no end back home in Ohio.

We talked a little more and then something caught the attention of the seminarians coming from the front corner of the train, which was about 75 percent full.

And then I heard it:

SALVE REGINA, Mater misericordiae. Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.

For a moment I thought, oh that's nice, someone's singing.

But soon enough they all were. All of the seminarians plus whoever in the corner started it all.

Ad te clamamus exsules filii Hevae.

I had no idea what they were singing but it was becoming clear that these guys had grabbed hold of everyone in that train car.

Ad te Suspiramus, gementes et flentes in hac lacrimarum valle. Eia ergo, Advocata nostra, illos tuos         misericordes oculos ad nos converte.

The more they sang their Latin prayer, the quieter the car became. No one spoke. Not a soul. Everyone just sat and listened.

Et Iesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui, nobis post hoc exsilium ostende.

And on the faces of everyone in that train, serenity. Peace. Some people brushed back tears from their eyes as they realized they were involved in a moment that was so pure and spontaneous as to defy adequate description. Where it all came from ultimately, there was no doubt. There was a presence in that subway car that day, a holy feeling you couldn't necessarily see, but you could certainly feel. By the end of their prayer, the car was totally quiet but for the sound of the singing seminarians.

O clemens, o pia, o dulcis Virgo Maria.

Then it was over. And the entire car erupted in applause and cheers.

I shared the story with a friend who asked me if the response on the train was such because everyone had just come from a Papal Mass. Without question that was the case.

Such a spontaneous subway event may or may not happen 150 blocks away in the financial district, or in Queens after a Mets game. But it happened to the people who were blessed enough to get on that particular train with the singing seminarians from Josephinum College in Columbus, Ohio. And we're all better for it today.

Post heads keep NYers in stitches -- literally!

One of the fun things to do when visiting New York City is to collect the wide array of daily newspapers to see how news is covered. OK, that may only be fun for news junkies. But even if you're not a news junky, what is fun is watching exactly how the New York Post and New York Daily News sell the news. Their writing seems OK, but their presentations are a bit more unorthodox than, say, the Wall Street Journal, New York Newsday or that cathedral of news, The New York Times.

Just going to New York at any time it's fun to see the tabloids and how they headline stories. When Pope Benedict XVI is the honored guest in the Big Apple, it is especially interesting. Here are just a few of the headlines from the last several days:

My favorite:

Ben's Sermon on the Mound (New York Post, 4-21-08)

Others:

Papa's Mitre Fine Attire (Post, 4-21-08)
Benedict to the Apple: Peace Out! (Post, 4-21-08)
Wouldn't you like to be a papa, too? (Post, 4-19-08)
Sex vics cry with pontiff (Daily News, 4-18-08)
This Rev feels like he hit a home run (Daily News, 4-18-08)
This pope won't be roamin': High security will halt John Paul-style stroll (4-18-08)

Other great non-Pope related heads from this week:
Hill warns crybaby Barack: 'If you can' stand the heat get out of the kitchen' (Post, 4-19-08)
Free-Dumb Tower: Trashed prints a terrorists's dream (Post, 4-18-08)
We kid you not: She's 18 and a prof! (Post, 4-21-08)
Fuhgeddabout Fidel: Cuba libres it up with 'Sopranos' and more (Post, 4-21-08)

Tuesday: Notes from a special Sunday in New York

Visiting New York  on a normal day is a crazy enough affair. Deposit the Pope in the middle of the Greatest City in the World along with thousands of the faithful and the time is even wilder. A few observations from Sunday:

• Wow meter pegs: Hearing 60,000 people singing 'Alleluia" is one of the most goose-bumpy, beautiful sounds I will ever hear
• Funny Moment: Watching a bunch of white-habited sisters start the wave in the upper deck (presumably because they were excited about seeing the Pope and not Harry Connick, Jr.)
• Goose-bump moment, No. 2: Having the privilege of hearing Ronan Tynan sing "God Bless America" IN Yankee Stadium. From a patriotic music standpoint, that would be hard to top.
• Diversity in Action: Catholics include in their Mass something called "Prayers of the Faithful," when intentions for a number of causes, concerns and individuals are brought to God. At the Papal Mass Sunday, those prayers were offered, one at a time, in English, Italian, Spanish, Croatian, Tagalog and French, among other tongues, by natives of their respective countries.
• Brush with Greatness: We ran into one of the kindest, smartest and most decent people in the newspaper business walking to our seats Sunday in the stadium -- George Irish, former publisher of the Reporter-Telegram and president of the Hearst Corporation's newspaper division. I've always known him to be a devout Catholic. How devout? He received Holy Communion directly from Pope Benedict XVI himself. As for most of the 60,000, Communion was distributed by 500 priests and deacons in 14 minutes. Each priest was accompanied into the stands by New York City Police Officers.
• Just wonderin': The Yankees and the City of New York went to great pains to cover all of the advertising on the facades and outfield fencing at Yankee Stadium due to the holiness and specialness of the occasion. Then only place I saw advertising? The Mercedes emblem on the front grill work of the Popemobile.
• And who's the guy with the big walking stick? As hundreds of clergy walked up the stage in preparation for the beginning of the Mass Sunday, I asked Msgr. Larry Droll, pastor of St. Ann's who sat next to me, who they all were. "I'm not sure ... but the ones with the pointy hats are bishops."
• Cheers for Beantown? In Yankee Stadium? Say it ain't so, Joe: The only moment of sacrilege during the entire 2 hour Mass came when Pope Benedict began naming the cities that were celebrating their 200th anniversaries as dioceses this year. Philadelphia, Louisville, Baltimore, New York and ... Boston. Hearing cheers for Boston IN Yankee Stadium had to be another first.

Pope encourages young people to follow the way of Christ

Photo by Karen Patterson

   NEW YORK -- A week of history, emotion and goodwill culminated Sunday afternoon with the celebration of Mass at Yankee Stadium with Pope Benedict XVI addressing matters as vital and wide-ranging as the sanctity of the unborn and encouraging young people to choose the way of Christ instead of the relativism so easily accessible in today's world.
   The Mass, nearly two hours in length, opened with the release of doves into the Bronx sky and the singing of "Alleluia" by a 60,000 voice choir that had come from points around the nation and world to see the man who has led the world's 1.1 billion Catholics for three years.
   A brisk morning waited for those who stood in security checkpoint lines for up to three hours before finding their stadium seats in time for the celebration. As if on cue, cloudy New York skies and nippy winds gave way to blue skies and slightly warmer temperatures as Pope Benedict appeared on the
Jumbotron in centerfield, poised in his Popemobile and ready to circle the stadium before the beginning of the Mass.
   The Pope, who turned 81 last Wednesday, the first full day of his U.S. visit, encouraged young people to "open their hearts to the Lord" in one of two points during the pontiff's homily during which spontaneous applause erupted.
   "My dear young friends, like the seven men 'filled with the Spirit and wisdom' whom the Apostles charged with care for the young Church, may you step forward and take up he responsibility which your faith in Christ sets before you! May you find the courage to proclaim Christ, "the same, yesterday, and
today and for ever" and the unchanging truths which have their foundation in him. These are the truths that set us free. They are the truths which alone can guarantee respect for the inalienable dignity and rights of each man, woman and child in our world -- including the most defenseless of all human beings, the unborn child in the mother's womb.
   "In a world where, as Pope John Paul II, speaking in this very place, reminded us, Lazarus continues to stand at our door, let your faith and love bear rich fruit in outreach to the poor, the needy and those without a voice. Young men and women of America, I urge you: open your hearts to the Lord's call to follow him in the priesthood and the religious life. Can there be any greater mark of love than this: to follow in the footsteps of Christ, who was willing to lay down his life for his friends."
   The pope called the Church's growth in America "impressive" and honored the country's first four dioceses -- New York, Boston, Philadelphia and Bardstown (Louisville, Ky.) and the first archdiocese, Baltimore.
   "From a small flock, the Church in America has been built up in fidelity to the twin commandment of love of God and love of neighbor," Benedict said. "In this land of freedom and opportunity, the Church has united a widely diverse flock in the profession of the faith and, through her many educational,
charitable and social works, has also contributed significantly to the growth of American society as a whole."
   Known to be an admirer of the United States since his youth when he observed American forces rebuild his German homeland following the fall of Nazi Germany, Benedict, the former Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, has become an even more beloved figure to the 46 million U.S. Catholics during his weeklong visit. He has acknowledged the clergy sex abuse scandal at almost every stop, has spoken to young seminarians, the disabled, families of victims of the 9/11 terror attacks and to clergy representing each of the 195 dioceses in America at a Mass Saturday morning in the beautiful St. Patrick's Cathedral.
   "Pope Benedict came to offer hope and encouragement to American Catholics and I felt very motivated and affirmed by his visit," said Rev. Msgr. Larry Droll, pastor of Midland's St. Ann's Church and vicar general of the Diocese of San Angelo. "In his sermon today, he proclaimed Jesus Christ, and he said Jesus is the way, the truth and the life; so lets take him up on it."
   Droll, the only member of the Midland clergy attending the New York leg of the pope's visit, was accompanied by 25 other Midlanders, many of whom were parents and students in town for the Midland High orchestra's performance at Carnegie Hall.
   Droll said he was pleased with the emphasis the pope placed on young people and how important it is for them to follow the example and way of Christ. To the larger audience, Droll said the pope's messages were applicable to everyone.
   "To American Catholics, (the impact of the pope's visit) is just in the knowledge that the pope, who is the leader of the Church, really cares for us enough to come and visit. And to all people of goodwill, the main message is to seek the truth and that is what keeps us free. Truth, not relativism, not whatever an individual feels they want for themselves, but a certain absolute truth that is revealed in the Gospel."
   The pope's Mass at Yankee Stadium was preceded by a two-hour Concert of Hope, featuring Stepahnie Mills, Jose Feliciano and Harry Connick, Jr. The pope's remarks during Mass were preceded by an poignant introduction by his host, Edward Cardinal Egan, Archbishop of New York.
   Priests and deacons were placed throughout Yankee Stadium to help more easily distribute Holy Communion, which was given to all 60,000 in 14 minutes. One of those personally receiving Holy Communion from Pope Benedict XVI was Hearst Newspaper president George Irish, who served as publisher of the Midland Reporter-Telegram from 1982-84.
   The pope began his day at Ground Zero where he prayed over the site of the World Trade Center collapse. In the concluding stanza of his prayer in Lower Manhattan, the man, who upon his installation as pope on April 19, 2005, referred to himself as, "a simple and humble laborer in the vineyard of the Lord," prayed:
"Comfort and console us,
strengthen us in hope,
and give us the wisdom and courage
to work tirelessly for a world
where true peace and love reign
among nations and in the hearts of all."

Weekend in New York like one gigantic 'Peace be with You'

NEW YORK -- One of my favorite Catholic practices happens about three quarters of the way through the Mass, right after the Our Father and just before the distribution of Holy Communion. If you're unfamiliar with the Mass and happen to attend one by chance, these few moments would likely be enough to make even the more skeptical feel welcome.

The exchanging of peace, commonly called the "Peace Be With You's" opens the faithful to their neighbors sitting near them. People who may never otherwise meet exhange smiles and a sign of peace and if only for a moment, Catholics are all joined together in a moment of togetherness and friendship.

This weekend in New York, and really for much of the entire last week, Pope Benedict XVI's historic, groundbreaking trip to America has been a lot like one big Catholic Peace Be With You.

Saturday on New York's Upper East Side, people were everywhere, some have estimated as many as 100,000, lined the streets of this great city waiting for Benedict to pass by for a chance at even just a glimpse of the leader of the world's 1.1 billion Roman Catholics, a brilliant, holy man.

Friday, scores of ecumenical leaders came to hear him speak in the late afternoon, following his pointed speech to world leaders at the United Nations. He has spoken to youths, the disabled, 3,000 Catholic clergy, 45,000 at Nationals Park in Washington and 60,000 in Yankee Stadium, but most emotionally, he spent more time in prayer and private meetings with Boston-area Catholics who were among those sexually abused by priests in one of the Church's darkest moments. He has mentioned the shameful criminal behavior of the priests guilty of their crimes on most every stop he has made here, the most widespread and direct acknowledgement of the crisis since it was uncovered in 2002. The pope's remarks, compassion and caring may ultimately go down as a monumental step forward by a man who until now has been largely viewed as distant and stern to people who have unfairly compared him against his dynamic predecessor, John Paul II.

But Benedict showed last week that he can be both brilliant -- he is said to write entire book manuscripts in one draft, speaks seven languages and plays Mozart on the piano at night before retiring -- and much more compassionate than millions of Americans ever gave him credit for being.

This has been a historic occasion for Catholics, an emotional time of hope for victims of clergy sexual abuse, and a time to show non-Catholics above all, that Pope Benedict XVI wants only one thing for everyone: That peace be with us all.

Big Papi in the Big Apple

NEW YORK -- The greatest city in the world was a little greater today as Pope Benedict XVI said Mass for 3,000 clergy at St. Patricks, then hopped in his tricked up Popemobile for a ride through the Upper East side waving to what had to be 50,000-100,000 people along the way.

To top it off, the Midland High orchestra was superb in its once-in-a-lifetime performance ar Carnegie Hall. Kudos to the Dogs.

Sunday, it's Mass at Yankee Stadium and frankly, the Pope has topped himself with almost every appearance he's made so it will be fascinating to hear what he has to say to the 60,000 Sunday in The Bronx.

Big Brother just asked me if the Yankees had a batter that could successfully bunt the Pope from second to third. Sure, but at 81, PBXVI would have to have a heckuva lead.

Thanks to the wife for the papal close up.