STICKY DOORKNOBS

'Into the Wild's powerful punch

I know I'm a little late with this, but I've gotta say: "Into the Wild" is a great little movie that will sneak up on you when you're least expecting it. For much of the 2-hour-plus film, you think you are watching a story about some kid who has been seriously disturbed by his adolescent environment and as a result sets out on the road trip of a lifetime.

And then, voila, all of a sudden Hal Holbrook enters the picture and Alexander Supertramp's journey is about much more than living among the grizzlies in Alaska and the hippies in Arizona.

"Into the Wild" delivers a powerful message that you really don't see coming, a message about the importance of love and relationships. Alexander, adeptly played by Emile Hirsch, might be alive today had he realized the value and love of family, in spite of the hurtful baggage collected along the way.

'No Country for Old Men' spectacularly suspenseful

In "No Country for Old Men," Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh (left) is one of the scariest villains you will ever lay eyes on if only for that fact that he is a soul-less psychotic and certainly one of Cormac McCarthy's most memorable characters. The film has won a couple of movie of the year awards already, and if you can get past ample bloodshed, it is a spectacular film. No soundtrack, but the suspense more than makes up for the periods of "silence." For me at least, the most chilling moment comes when Chigurh calmly lifts his boots off the floor after offing Woody Harrelson's character, mercenary Carson Wells (Harrelson's portrayal is excellent, btw). If you've seen the moment, you have chills even now. The ending is odd, even more so than the book's ending, and while the movie plays mostly true to the book, reading it before seeing it actually takes away some of the suspense. The exteriors of Sanderson, Eagle Pass, Del Rio and other points in West Texas are beautiful as always.

    My wife, who cannot watch violent movies asked me why and how I could watch and enjoy such a movie: I am certainly as averse to violence as any sensible person. Digging deep under the violence  are stories of how we are as humans. How we respond, how we live amongst the violence, how we survive in such bleakness. I've read a number of McCarthy's books and while violence is a recurring thread, his often bleak stories tell of survivors and their relationships and how they are affected by external factors like man, nature, the apacolypse. There is an optimism, a naivete even, that runs through many of the characters in "No Country" (the gas station attendant, the boys on their bikes, the chicken truck driver and Tommy Lee Jones' wife) although Jones himself is a mostly hopeless pessimist throughout.

   I used to be skeptical when I heard people call Cormac McCarthy our best living writer. No more. What he can do with the written word is beautiful. Which is how I answer my wife when she asks me how I can watch, or read through the violence that runs through his books. It all comes down to craft: a gift of writing that leaves you wide-eyed when you read.

A truly 'Enchanted' movie

To guy readers:

If you are dragged kicking and screaming to the movie theater this weekend to see "Enchanted," stop kicking, stop screaming and enjoy a fun, clever, refreshing and funny, funny movie from Disney. The concept is unique and, as it turns out, magical. And sometimes, we just need to suspend our beliefs and laugh a little already.

Amy Adams (above), unquestionably THE bright star here, plays an animated soon-to-be-princess who is pushed down a wishing well by the evil Narissa, played by Susan Sarandon. The live-action version of Princess Giselle emerges from a man-hole cover in Times Square, an evil place far, far away from Andalasia, her home, where Giselle lives in a tree with chipmunks and squirrels. The day before being cast down the well Giselle had fallen madly in love with her Prince, Edward. Edward also happens to end up falling down the same well in an attempt to find his newly beloved.

Edward, Giselle and a cast of other lesser characters from the fictitious animated kingdom try to adapt to the cold hard brutality of New York City and real life itself, and on the way, Giselle falls in love with earthling Robert (Patrick Dempsey). Adams does a great job playing up the princess persona full-tilt and the overacting simply makes the movie. A scene in Central Park incorporating street musicians who become part of a Disney-like production number is definitely the high point.

Giselle has an irritating habit of making her princess gowns out of Dempsey's Park Ave. apartment curtains, another brilliant comedic touch that provides for a several laugh-out-oud moments. Dempsey's real-life soon-to-be fiancee, Nancy, meanwhile, even comes out living happily ever after, but no spoilers. Nancy is played by the great Idina Menzel, who starred as the first Witch in Broadway's "Wicked." For all her talent, Menzel is certainly undercast in "Enchanted"

Regardless, "Enchanted" is a winner, tons of fun and safe for the entire family. If you have daughters take them to this movie. If you don't have daughters ... borrow your neighbor's daughters and take them. You will find yourself smiling after its over.

I realize I'm a little late, but ...

How good is "The Greatest Game Ever played?"

It's a golf movie. And my 18-year-old daughter watched the whole thing.  Sometimes it boils down to just a good story, and the telling of Francis Ouimet besting Harry Vardon in the 1913 U.S. Open is a really good way to spend two hours. Heck, even my wife loved it and she's got a really wicked slice. On those occasions when she hits it out of the tee box :).

Rent it and watch it with your family.

Ummm...

I found this a bit odd, but on the DVD box of a movie my wife rented over the weekend was this glowing endorsement:

"An extraordinary family film from the makers of 'The Full Monty.' "

Huh?

"Evan Almighty" mounting aggressive ad campaigns in Christian publications

It's been interesting watching the ad campaign surrounding the upcoming Universal Studios release "Evan Almighty." hristian movie buffs are no doubt hoping this is as good and as family-friendly as it's passing itself off to be.

I thought it interesting enough when a full-page ad ran in the most recent issue of Catholic Digest on Pg. 3, opposite the magazine's table of contents -- some prime real estate.

But then I picked up the latest Christianity Today and to the casual looker, it appears the film serves as the June cover story. Wrong.

Universal Studios purchased a wrap-around front/back cover ad for the movie. Look closely and you'll find the word "ADVERTISEMENT" in the upper right-hand corner. There are no stories about "Evan Almighty" in this issue of CT.

The film is the sequel to the former Jim Carrey vehicle, "Bruce Almighty," with the star of the "40-Year-Old Virgin," Steve Carrell, as Noah. Rated PG, it is advertised as a family-friendly film.

"Evan Almighty" opens June 22, and news items surrounding the advertising methods of this movie may be interesting to watch in the coming weeks.

And you can bet there'll be a sequel to "Evan Almighty." After all, on the ark, didn't everything come in twos?

'POTC3' -- Time to abandon ship, matey

When humorist Dave Barry spoke at Midland College in early May, he told a great story about a group of people in Oregon and how they disposed of a beached whale that had become stranded. After the Oregonians marveled at the whale for a while and realized they really didn't have any practical way to move the creature, they decided the only way to rid themselves of it would be to stick dynamite in and around the giant mammal and blow it to bits. They did not count on the thousands of pieces of whale that would ultimately splatter far and wide, littering and stinking the area and making a grim situation even worse.

The "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise is a lot like Barry's whale story. The first 'Pirates' movie was like a whale at sea: intriguing, beautiful, fun to watch. The second 'Pirates' is akin to watching the whale just as it becomes stranded: a site to behold, people watch with eyes wide open and jaws agape. The third 'Pirates' greatly resembles what that Oregon coast must have looked like after he had been blown to bits: a giant, bloated, bloody, grotesque, stinky, largely indecipherable mess.

"POTC 3" is just too much of a good thing. Wait, let me back up ... "good" really no longer factors into the equation here. Oh, there are moments -- the last 30 minutes of 'World's End' was visually magical and a spectacle to behold. But trudging through 2 1/2 hours of Jack Sparrow's hallucinations, the bizarre incantations of Calypso, and a plot so convoluted it would baffle even a Mensa gathering is really a loooong way to go for a cinematic payoff.

Dozing off is not only optional it is expected; theater owners should actually provide pillows to this zzz-inducing wreck. Jack's magic is in rare form only in that we rarely see him on screen compared at least to the first two installments. Keira Knightley has certainly never looked better and her character is stronger than ever in a Hillary kind of way, but this mess is too disjointed, too eye-blurring and mind-numbing to be mentioned in the same breath as the first two.

At $8 bucks a pop, you want a movie that pays you back. This one doesn't. What's worse -- no make that what's worst -- is that this thing demands so much of your time before it sets you free.

As one of my kids who really disliked this movie said afterward, "I'll never get those three hours back ever again."

Spidey 3? Sew sew

   OK, so I didn't even realize that Peter Parker was supposed to be nerdy until about an hour into 'Spiderman 3.' I'm not sure what that says about me. I like to think it's just that I give others the benefit of the doubt. I'm afraid my wife thinks it's because I just couldn't see the nerdiness because, well, you know ... I identify with Peter Parker, and not necessarily for his superhero abilities.

   In a sentence, though: When I go to a Summer Blockbuster, I like to feel like I've been to a Summer Blockbuster when I leave the theater. I didn't feel that way when I left 'Spidey 3.' It was a fine movie, just not that gargantuan blockbuster feel you would expect to be feel after leaving a theater at this time of the year.

'Deck the Halls': Flip the switch and off this horrible holiday flick

This just may be the worst Christmas movie ever made.

Even if it doesn't ultimately earn that distinction, it should most definitely get the nod for maybe the worst acting ever in any movie ever ever ever. Matthew Broderick is simply awful, yet, believe it or not, is actually a step up from the woman cast as his wife, whose name (Kelly Finch), trust me, we won't ever need to remember again. Danny DeVito is supposed to be a disgruntled car salesman looking to make a name for himself, so he sets out to try to light up his house so that it is visible from space (specifically so people can find it on Google Earth.)

DeVito, who epitomized mean in Taxi, can't even work up a good harrumph in a character that really demands it.

Kristen Chenowith's role as Robin Williams wife in the summer clunker "R.V." was a work of art in comparison to her part as Tia Hall, DeVito's goofy, shallow wife.

"Deck The Halls" ' theme? Here's a new one for ya: Family is what Christmas is all about .... not decorating your house so that it can be seen from space.

This is truly one of the worst moves ever made -- it has to be, I can't imagine anything much worse -- and garnered at least two brief naps.

I've never asked for my money back after a movie, but came awfully close this time. It's not worth the price of admission at half price Tuesday at the dollar show. But if I'd have been able to stay asleep for the entire 95 minutes, it would've definitely been money well spent.

Do NOT waste your money. Stay home and sleep for free. I beg you.

Million Dollar Babies

Expect a great gnashing of teeth and growing rancor over the next few weeks as we approach the Academy Awards and as more and more people see "Million Dollar Baby." (Egad ... ire may even be raised!)

"Hidden agenda!" they will scream.

(I really should refrain from what these people will be ranting about for fear of giving away too much of the plot.)

Fact is, Clint Eastwood's "Million Dollar Baby" is nothing more than a superb and tragic film about a man faced with the most difficult decision in his life. There is no hidden agenda and Hollywood is not trying to push its leftist philosophy on an unsuspecting moviegoing public. Can we please refrain from conspiracy theories NOW, while we still can??

Why didn't people scream that Eastwood had a liberal message when he made "Mystic River" or "Unforgiven" or "Bronco Billy" for that matter? Eastwood has made a memorable, yet tragic movie that's about two things, really: reaching for your dreams no matter your lot in life, the importance of family, and maybe even the meaning of love and selfless devotion.

If "Million Dollar Baby" wins every Oscar it's been nominated for, it is more than deserving. The movie is an incredibly moving experience; it reels you in and makes you friends with three simple people -- Frankie, Maggie and Scrap Iron -- and then -- BOOM! -- like a powerful left jab outta nowhere, it smacks you upside the head and leaves you reeling, crying, laughing and overhwhelmed.

Enjoy it ... learn from it ... don't try to read between lines that aren't there ... and don't let the conspiracy theorists talk you out of enjoying it.